Merry Christmas everyone!
Now excuse this blog if it comes out wrong! Eyes bad and voice recognition software doesn't really do Scottish and I really can't be bothered talking like the Queen at 4am on Christmas day! With the pain I have at the moment I'm hoping that the kids sleep to at least 6 and hopefully they will then be able to find a happier Christmassy mummy instead of the Exorcist Regan one that has taken her place these last two days!
ok problem 1 - no pain meds of any kind! Have 3 signed prescriptons right here.
problem 2 - Reason have prescriptions here on paper and not in bottles? I live in a country that goes into some huge kind of breakdown if it snows! All wheelcheer accessable taxis were pulled for Health and Safety reasons yesterday. So got asked why can hubby not go pick it up? Yes leave Autistic 5 year old and the 11 year old on the sugar high from hell! With the mum who can barely see them! That could have worked I suppose! Or get my mum who can barely walk herself to shove on her skates and see if she could catch the same pharmacy that is going to be open on Sunday, reason has to be the same Pharmacy? Well because of a disibility related tablet mix up last week the new GP at our Practice has put me on a 'junkie script' for one of my prescriptions! Has to be dispensed every 3 days! By the time we worked out which pharmacy it was that was going to be open this Sunday, who could and who could not go to collect it yesterday and Sunday, (family inconsiderate assholes having jobs!) it was too late to collect it anyway! For the second day running I could not hand in the urine sample that is needed or get the bloods done, which already show with their high CRP result that I have inflamation in my brain again! well duh! Took the Antibiotics for a week for a urine sample that said I had infection now bear in mind that sample was handed in in the only sample container I could find, a white topped bottle (should have been Red) which I wasn't sure had been used before, (they ration them here) so was rinsed out under the tap and then transferred to a red top by my GP's about 3 hours after I had done it on the 11th! Got a prescription then for the Antbiotics just in case and for Diazipam then too. Which where all this bloody shit started.
Even though I did not have had and have never had have any symptoms of a UTI well not unless my Kidneys have fell and came to rest at the base of my spine right above my cockix which is killing me. (right thats it, I am switching the bloody viavoice off! I know how to spell coccyx and that bloody wasn't it! useless piece of junk!) Ok we are now on to touch typing (never a strength of mine, ask Mrs Kettles!) and my right eye surgically taped closed, (it jumps from eye to eye) So against my usual common sense to this kind of prescribing I thought about it and took the just in case antibiotics, well just in case!
I was also taking my 15 Amitriptyline at night and some days, but not everyday the 12 Diazepam 2mg 2-3 4 x daily I had been prescribed. Now at my pharmacy (the only one that seems willing to order in the plain white Tramadol capsules I get, not the ones with Quinoline yellow dye that gives reactions anywhere from hives to wheezing! So really not allowed, hence 15 x 10mg Amitriptyline every night instead of just 3 of the dye loaded 50mg ones!) Well my regular Pharmacist, who is great by the way!
Well she dispensed the the Diazepam on the 11th. Only these two medications come in boxes that are practically identical, exactly the same size, except one has a green band and the other has a yellow band. So come on how could anyone who at that point was only seeing in black and white and negative ever get them mixed up? Well as dumb as it sounds I did and instead of taking the 15 x 10g Amytriptiline, I took 15 x 2mg Diazepam and 30mg of Amitriptyline! When I woke up a very exhausted hubby to give me my medication.
See what I mean dumb! Not as dumb as the next thing we did though because as a good little pill popper I am, (well except for the Just in Case Antibiotics which is really bad, by the way! And never something that I would ever condone, as unnecessary prescribing and use of Antibiotics is why Antibiotics are getting their asses kicked and are losing in the war against Bacterial Infection in our hospitals!) I did exactly what it says in the medication advice leaflet as soon as hubby and I realised what I had done, we contacted a medical professional for advice, or at least my hubby did as I was too bloody sore on account of having ran out of Amitriptyline and was almost out of Tramadol as well!
Now I think it must have been at this point that this new doctor must have got confused as she said I couldn't have ran out as she had prescribed more than enough medication. Which when she did finally speak to me the next again day she made more than clear, when she told me that she had prescribed 420 Amitriptyline on the 15th! Which I then explained to her was news to me, as I hadn't been anywhere near or in contact with the surgery since the 11th! I was almost out of pain meds and even though I had not been taking all the Diazepam I could take, every day I would run out of that at some point over Christmas as well especially having taking 27 of the 112 I got on the 11th in the one day/night! Which is where my nightmare before Christmas began! Now she found the prescription that she had done on the 15th, on the 22nd she did one for the Tramadol but was giving thought to the Diazepam.
On the 23rd I was that bad I wanted to go into hospital. She agreed! I thought 'yes they will sort out my meds can test the new sample I had to hand in, take new bloods and then boot my arse back out again like they always do, severe bed shortages, lack of disabled access facilities, trust me when I say this, that after last time I was there that this hospital does not want me for long! Did I want to go in to hospital 2 days before Christmas? Did I heck but it would have sorted out my meds, started the labs that needed to be done, which would have sped up the process to me perhaps getting the treatment that I need, which is 3 daily IV doses of Methyl Prednisilone to try and stop another of my Axons dying. What is wrong with my eyes is not an attack of what they call Retrobulbaropticalnueritis which is just a big word that just means swelling of the optic nerves behind the eye! If it was then both nerves wouldn't be affected in the way they are and as intermitantly as they are, I can almost read this now but if I look up at the lightbulb I still don't see a light, I see a halo around where I know the light is and by closing either eye I actually could be the only person this Christmas day that can say she sees the light!
The hilarious thing is that if I could actually see an very detailed picture of my brain I could probably stick a pin to within milimetres of the Axon that is being attacked and is inflamed! you have your eyes, then you have the nerves behind your eyes, (optic nerves) then there is a point in your brain where these nerves intersect, so that visual information can be passed to it's correct primary visual cortex at the back of each side of your brain. Basically what your left eye sees is processed in your right PVC and what your right eye sees goes to the one on the left side of your brain. I can't recall what that intersection is called (see this no longer having instant access to information I know, I know! grr I used to think as a kid that having an eidetic memory was a bloody curse! used to go to great lengths to hide the fact I had it! Now I know that the true curse is only having half of bloody one!) anyhow this intersection is pretty damn close to your pituitary gland, the teeny little bit of your brain that controls basically all your Endocrine systems, Thyroid, Hormones everything like that! Now the inflamation in my brain at the moment and probably over a lot of the last year is somewhere pretty close to around there!
There were clues, before this latest thing with the eyes and again with the loss of feeling in the lower half of my legs! (though not with the right leg at the moment, very painful falling ou wheelchair and twisted ankle accident the other night!)
I lost over 5 st in a year, with no diet, no exercise, whilst stuffing my face with enough Ferrero Rochers that if I could find all the boxes I could do a James May and build the kids a small house out back with Ferrero Rocher bricks, we could enter it in the Turner prize! Could really do with the prize money too! Having only one fallopian tube but having a period every two weeks for most of the last year? I didn't need a degree in anything to figure it out! Which does make me wonder why those that do have such degrees have never said anything to me about it.
Anyway back to the nightmare, Doc phones back can't go to hospital on the 23rd as that white stuff falling from the sky and the below zero temps means that Ambulances are doing Emergencies only. Fair enough, so leave house a little after 1pm to get to doctors to pick up prescriptions and hand in sample. Kids off school, wee one suffering with this hacking cough and throat 'infection' So not about to let hubby take him out or pay the £14 it normally costs to get to my Doctors by taxi! So wrapped up warm and off I wheeled. *note to self* wheelchairs and snow doesn't work! Especially in my town. Got about 2 and a half miles, realised it was ten to six and I wasn't going to make that other mile before docs closed at 6 got home about 8pm! This was the night I fell out of my wheelchair and sprained my bleeding ankle! As if things couldn't get any bloody worse! C'mon this is me, there is always a bleeding worse! Go to minor accidents unit! yeah could do that if all the Wheelchair accidents hadn't been put off the bloody roads for H&S reasons! Did manage to get the prescriptions picked up from the Surgery by my brother running my mum and making himself 3 hours late for his work! Couldn't actually get anyone to pick up the prescriptions as the no one could work out which pharmacies would be open or if they could even be got to as the 3 day 'junkie' script the doctor stuck the Diazepam on would have to be collected from the same pharmacy! pharmacies open Christmas eve, would be closed on the 27th, how crap of Christmas to be on a weekend this year!
So it is now 45 minutes into boxing day and I have to pull an ambulance off a really imporant call to go to that bloody hospital as out of hours wont come out to give me any kind of medication until I have had this bloody foot xrayed! It won't be broken I know this as I don't break bones, ever! So after eating my Christmas dinner here alone whilst everyone else went to my mums for theirs, I now have to spend boxing day alone in the same hospital where the last time they could find me a bed the only way to go to the loo was to leave the ward they put me on, cut across the carpark in the middle of the night to use the only disabled loo that was open at night in A&E. The same hospital where I asked for the meds I had been written up for 4 hours earlier I was told well snapped at really "I am very busy, can't you see we have sick people here!" eventually did get the shot 7 hours later, ten minutes before they packed my ass into a taxi and sent me home! Something they won't be doing this time not unless the roads and weather have improved a lot and they can find a taxi to take me. So happy boxing day then! a whole night of drunks and junkies, me shoved in a corner (thats if they let me take my wheelchair!) and being my own invisible self! Maybe the scumbag that stole my ipod will be there again, might try for the phone this time!
and all because of the bloody wheather!
Our Goverment does realise, that in countries where regular heavy snowfall and freezing temps, sometimes all year round that there are millions of people laughing their heads off at just how quickly our country shuts down completely in conditions nowhere near what they have to manage with everyday!
After the first hour of being in there my immune system is going to be so loaded with viruses that next week I get no treatment!
msghost
